If Only In My Dreams

One of my favorite Christmas songs is "I'll Be Home For Christmas" and I love the way Elvis sang it (I happen to be a BIG Elvis fan).  I never really understood the meaning behind the song, though, until I relocated and  had to spend a couple holidays away from my family.  Christmas is the holiday that draws everyone's attention to family and home.  No matter where you may be, or what may prevent you from traveling home, when the big day arrives, home is still  the place you want to be. 
For me, there is the security of being with Mother and Daddy and knowing that, no matter what, their presence in my life remains the greatest gift.  Then, of course, there is the time spent with my brothers, Dan and Dwight.  Remembering them as children and now, seeing the men they have become, brings a sense of  belonging to my heart.  Most of all, being with my son, John, brings the biggest smile to my face.  God blessed my life the day my son was born and he has remained a blessing to me his entire life.  Oh, how I will miss being with them all this year.  Fortunately, my beautiful daughter, Lisa, and her family live close to me and I will be seeing their smiling faces this Christmas.  Lisa has been such a strength to me and has blessed me in so many ways---I love her so much.  Of course, having my little grandsons close by makes the holiday a sheer pleasure.  Still, I wish we all could be together at Mother and Daddy's on Christmas Eve.
I was watching one of the renditions of  "A Christmas Carol" earlier in the week.  It made me think of how memories are made.  Each and every day that passes by, we make a series of memories.  In difficult times, the good memories serve to sustain us, comfort us, and bring us joy.  Though not all memories are pleasant, those that are remind us of just how rich and full life can be.  At this time of year, I am reminded of my two brothers who have passed and how much they both loved Christmas.  The memories I have of them and their love for the holidays always bring a smile to my face.  I wouldn't trade my memories of Don and David for any present under the tree.
The beautiful words to this song say exactly what I am feeling this Christmas season.  I suppose the author was away from home and longed to be there for all the festivities---just like me.

 
I'll be home for Christmas,
You can plan on me.
Please have snow and mistletoe
And presents for the tree.

Christmas Eve will find me
Where the love light leads.
I'll be home for Christmas, oh yes
If only in my dreams.

I suppose the only way I will be going home this year is in my dreams.  When I dream of Christmas, it is Daddy's deep voice and  boisterous laugh that I will yearn for.  I will crave Mother's warm hug, her delicious Christmas treats, and her beautiful smile.  I will be wishing for a bear hug from each of my brothers and longing to hear my son say, "Hello, Mom".  I will be hearing them all laughing and talking at the same time as we stuff  ourselves at Mother's buffet table.  Oh, how I want to go home for Christmas. 
Christmas Eve this year will find me carrying on the traditions my dear, sweet Mother started when we were all young children at home.  I will prepare the buffet table with treats from Mother's recipes.  I will have the gifts wrapped and under the tree, the stockings filled with goodies for the grandchildren, and  the CDs of Elvis and Josh Groban singing the songs of the season.  My son-in-law, Mark, will read the Christmas story from the Bible and we will all be laughing and talking at the same time---just like we did years ago. 
So, if dreams are the only way I can go home for Christmas this year, then so be it.  When all the festivities are over, and I lay my head on my pillow on Christmas Eve, for a brief moment, before I drift off to sleep, I'll be home for Christmas.  I'll be home---if only in my dreams.

In Grace,
Marie