I have written before of the relationship between my dear father and I. We were so very close and he was my hero and closest confidant. He was my protector and my faithful prayer warrior.
On May 29, 2023, my father passed and transitioned to his eternal rest with the One he had served so faithfully and so valiantly during his 93 years of life. Oh, how I miss him. I loved him so dearly and still do, even in death my love for him has not lessened. He was the kindest and best of men as well as a wonderful father.
With my father's passing, I came to realize what it was like to be an adult orphan. My mother passed in April of 2017--losing her was almost more than I could bear. However, I still had my father who was a tremendous source of comfort to me. With his passing, my heart ached in ways I cannot describe. The space my father filled in my life will be forever vacant. Now, with both of my parents gone, I find life so difficult to navigate at times and so lonely without them.
As a child, Daddy would often whisper in my ear, "Daddy's girl". Though I have mentioned this in previous posts, it is ever more precious now to remember those moments. Even as an adult, he would look at me and say, "You are still a Daddy's girl". How I would love to hear his voice saying those words again.
What I have learned through this time of great loss is that remembering my father keeps him close. His words, his prayers, his counsel, and his faithful teaching, remain with me. I find myself thinking of my brothers and my parents so often, remembering them with gratitude and love. How gracious of God to have given me such an awesome mother and father. I am not unaware of how rare this was and, even now, I understand even more the blessing of such a family.
Grief hits us at the gut level and takes away a part of our lives that we were never prepared to lose. The family unit is never the same when loved ones die and we can never look at life the same again. A beautiful song by Willie Nelson describes it best: "It's not something you get over, it's just something you get through."
And yet, even in the midst of our grief, we come to realize that we have the opportunity to be reunited with those we love. Death is but a temporary separation and we will see them again. What a glorious day that will be. Until then, I will do my best to carry on--to fight the good fight of faith--to remember all that my parents taught me--to recall with great joy the lives of the two brothers I have lost--to never let go of the memories. I will continue to trust the God who cannot fail--the God who is ever present and always near.
I cannot find the words to tell how much I miss my family members who have died. I find my life empty in some areas because they are not here. But Oh!! the joy of that reunion when we shall meet again in that wonderful place called Heaven where there is no death and no sorrow. I will continue to live by faith, trusting in God all the way until I see my father and again hear him say, "You're still a Daddy's girl".
Yes I am, Daddy. Yes I am.
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