Loving Jesus More

My grandsons, Gabriel and Michael, recently spent the night with me. I had such fun with them. We were planning a celebration for Gabriel's ninth birthday the next day so, of course, I opted to keep the boys with me so my daughter could decorate for his party. We had supper together, popped popcorn, watched movies and just enjoyed being together. At about one o'clock in the morning, we finally decided we were ready for bed. All three of us piled into my bed, propped up the laptop and watched the old black and white Dracula movie with Bella Lugosi. I woke up about five in the morning with two little boys trying to share my side of the bed. I looked down at their sleeping faces and thought to myself, "God, I love them so much. I would do anything for their happiness. I would give my life for them if need be.". I could not imagine my life without them.

As I thought about how much I love my grandsons, the question popped into my mind, "Do you love Jesus more than them?". Oh, how my heart pounded as I thought of how important my Saviour is to me. I thought about all the years I had served Him and how much He had changed my life. I remembered the times when sorrow ruled my life, yet Jesus was able to take it all in a moment of time. Memories of the times He had rescued me from the brink of despair brought tears to my eyes. I honestly cannot recall a time in my life when my Lord was not there for me. I have been His child for 45 years and not once has He ever failed me---not once.

Loving Jesus has not been difficult. When I think of all He has done for me, I cannot help but fall to my knees and tell Him how much I love Him. He has been my faithful companion, my truest friend, my champion, my hero, my brother, my Redeemer, my King, and the love of my life. He has proven Himself to me time and time again. I am most completely His.

Oh, I have not been the truest of His servants, though. So many times the faults and failures of my weak and frail humanity have gotten in the way of my duty to my Lord. So many times I have failed Him. So many times I have chosen my own path instead of following Him wherever He would lead. Though my actions have not always proven so, my love for Him has never wavered. I have remained so in love with Jesus. Even when adversity and hardship drove me to my knees---even when I did not understand why He allowed such dark times to trouble me---even when I found myself questioning Him regarding the necessity of certain difficulties---even in these moments of questioning---my love was never abated. I have loved Jesus all my life.

I have learned, with the passing of time, that one does not need to understand our Lord in order to love Him. I have come to the place where it almost doesn't matter anymore what happens in my life. What matters is that Jesus is there. What matters is that I can feel Him close and know that He will help me through, no matter what the test or trial. What matters is the relationship I have with Him. It remains secure, no matter what the circumstance.

My desire is to only serve Him better and love Him more. I want others to see Him in me. I want my life to stand for something---something that is greater than I. My heart's desire is for my life to reflect Jesus in such a way that others will want to know Him, too. One of my favorite songs asks the question, "Will you love Jesus more when we go our different ways?". I pray the answer from all those I encounter will be a resounding YES!!! My prayer is to be a light to someone---to shine so brightly for Jesus that those who are lost without Him will be able to find their way home. I pray that when I walk away from an individual, or a crowded room, the ones I have met will come to not only know Jesus, but actually love Him more. I once read a quote that said, "If you meet me and forget me, you have lost nothing. If you meet Jesus and forget Him, you have lost everything.". I pray today to continuously love Him more. He is so worth it.

In Grace,
Marie